She feels the dull sting of the emotional haymaker coming, she feels like an idiot.
She’d barely fought enough in her life to have a single scar, but her wounds remained worse than most. She took the time and effort to carefully cleave to and cherish the scars she did carry. Her heart had desiccated, but her lips were unaffected.
"I can’t imagine her getting into problems," she said aloud to no one in particular. "I’m convinced that she believes that she has to do everything just so and that she’s incredibly realistic about it."
She does not take a position on the ethical implications of her peers. She is just fascinated by them, as though she was not herself a part of "them".
"I think that a person’s behavior can change on its own and that it is inversely related to the state of their intelligence," she continued. "But not many psychology experts agree".
She had read their results six times in three different languages. The psychologists then talked to her for an hour to evaluate her seriousness. She was glad to be seen as serious, to be taken seriously.
Even if they still thought that she was wrong.
What was wrong was that it was different and very difficult to understand. She had to decide when to believe the establishment and when to believe herself.
They had taken her idea with a grain of salt, which was reasonable of course. She was not a naive person.